Has Marriage become a Fad?

Is it just me or are there an increasingly large amount of “engagements” going on these days. It seems as if getting married is just the thing to do, the new club to be in, the hottest title to have. Now I totally understand how that first statement may be viewed as “hating” but it’s just a simple observation. Every day I hear about some young couple (many times I didn’t even know the person was in a relationship) announcing their engagement. In that same day I hear about another that announced theirs last year announcing their divorce. Got my wheels turning on the subject.

When I think of marriage I think of forever. I don’t imagine a white dress and a huge overly priced party full of people you haven’t spoken to in years. I imagine a man and a woman declaring that no matter what they have to go through they will make it work, forever. I am not 100% opposed to divorce, after you have given your all and honestly tried by every means necessary and things still refuse to get better then do what you have to do. But no marriage, if gone into for the right reasons should end in the first year or two. You should still be honeymooning (dear future husband we are honeymooning forever) not divorcing. But when you didn’t gain the proper knowledge about your mate before you entered into a marriage that is where you end up; divorced or separated forever. This is not how it was intended to be and it’s not what I want for my future. Marriage has become a fad, the thing to do, and it needs to change.

Growing up in the Christian community you hear all the young women talking about how they want a Boaz. Oh Send me a Boaz. Well I don’t want a Boaz. YES he was a beautiful man inside and out. But the only baggage Ruth had was her mother in law. Know I know that sounds like a lot but it’s really not. A lot of women are calling for a Boaz and that’s what they are getting, a man that carries the looks but isn’t built to endure too much more than a small bag, a carry on. That’s all the baggage you can posses. I don’t know anyone who is carrying something that small. All relationships leave you with something, good or bad and we carry it. The art is to properly place it so that it is useful. What I want is a Joseph. Huh? Mary carried real baggage (do not take this as me calling Jesus baggage, I am ONLY speaking of the situation). I don’t know a man, any man that would be ok with his woman just popping up pregnant and  I don’t think they would care by who. Joseph was faced with indescribable baggage and he stayed. He took Mary as his wife and raised the young boy as his own. That’s the type of man I desire. A man that can face the impossible by my side.  I am sure this is what all women want now that they think about it. But who is willing to go past the point of infatuation and find that person. The point of infatuation that first couple months, it usually lasts as long as 4 when you just can not get enough of that new new of the relationship. You hang on every word that they say, their scent, their walk everything just gets you going. You have no idea what real issues they have or how big their baggage really is because all you see is what you want to see in that period. Most Christian relationships don't make it very long past this period because they are trying to "live right" I know way to many couples who got married so they have indulge in shameless sex but that's a whole different story.. THEN WHAT. .. It wears off and you begin to see what you are really dealing with and at the speed most are traveling they are already way too deep to walk away.

I think that marriage is a beautiful thing, I look forward to the day when I am able to give my forever to another person. But I reserve the right to be picky. I want to make sure I know who he is and have begun to fully peel back the layers of him. I am more interested in why he does what he does than what he does. I desire to fully connect with my mate first so my forever has a fighting chance. Marriage is more than playing house;  when the walls of the house come crumbling down, are you standing next to someone who will help you to rebuild or move on to someone who is offering something else.

Just food for thought..