Where is the MEAT in the relationships

I spent my entire Monday night watching the bachelor and was touched but also dumbfounded as to how someone after 3 months of knowing another could be ready to propose. I would never put a relationship in a box and say it has to go a certain way but I need just a little more time than that. On top of that I need a little more time where it was just us exclusively; you chilling with shorty the night before you proposed to me in no shape or form would be ok. What happened to the meat of relationships? I am not a salad kind of girl I need some meat, some substance, something that is going to take a lot to be broken down. In dating during this single period I have interacted with so many different styles of men and most I almost immediately know why they are single. Their priorities are messed up, they don’t care about who you are but mainly how they can get in your pants. I have lots of brothers I know that they are almost all trying to get there and all trying to get their eventually but the lead in is terrible. Someone asked me did I know how to use my lips, in no way does that say that they are looking for a relationship and any type of future past the 2 minutes that is all they probably can provide. Where’s the meat? To me the meat of a relationship is really getting to know someone, playing investigator and asking all the questions that help you learn just a little about who they are. To begin the process of peeling back the layers of who they are before even allowing your heart to get involved. Now I am a woman so that window is very short but in acknowledging any sort of feeling you also have to pay attention to what is being given by the other party. Stop giving your heart to men that are showing no interest in any type of future, stop falling when your a filler. But that's a different subject so back to the meat. Get past the infatuation phase, those first couple of months when you cling to their every word, you can’t imagine what you would ever argue about, you just know they are heaven sent.. And then the endorphins wear off and where are you. To me love is unconditional acceptance. Before loving someone you should have already been presented them in different scenarios, stages, atmospheres. You should have already saw them at a high as well as low and have been presented with conflicts that you had to decide whether or not you were willing to deal with them longterm. So to accept them as they are to me is the definition of love. Know I do know people who pretend to be one thing and they are in fact not, this is an unfair trick and ultimately forces you to love someone you were never supposed to. Love is communicating freely and having the willingness to tweak things that will ultimately create the best relationship. In the business we call it constructive criticism, that tough love for the greater good. I don’t mind that. Tell me what I need to do and let’s make the changes. Changing doesn’t mean losing yourself but if you gotta work on that smacking in order for you to progress your relationship guess what; get it together. Know who you are dealing with as best as possible before giving away your heart because it’s harder to get it back then to never give it up. Love is a risk that deserves to be taken but calculated it has to be. Enjoy the phase of the unknown. Not knowing what will come of this new relationship, exploring the vibrant feelings that are all over the place. Recognizing lust but not giving into it just because it’s there. Going slow yet savoring the stolen moments. Being smart because whether lasting friendship or relationship it has to be built on a sturdy foundation… some MEAT!